(addiction) or Clinging | Forum

Sometimes I drink too much, and it happens on a somewhat regular basis - like whenever I go out with more than one person to the bar.

I used to be a heavy smoker - 40 cigarettes a day. One of my hobbies was buying secondhand videos from a pawn brokers. One time they had one titled "Give Up Smoking in 41mins." I thought, yeah right... But it was on $5 so I thought WTF. Went home and watched it that night and never smoked again and that was 15yrs ago. It was a hypnosis video - I think it worked on me because I sometimes I meditated so was used to dropping into the necessary level. I had no withdrawals or anything and for years, I could sit next to someone all day and at the end of that day, not be able to tell you if they were a smoker or not.

The funny thing was, my son was three at the time and loved "The Land Before Time" movies, and while I was watching the video I had a micro-sleep and dreamt I was walking along with the dinosaurs looking for green food, and when I woke up I ate all the sprouts and other green food in the fridge and then started sniffing the pot plants!

The only time since I had a puff was probably 5yrs ago when I was at a party and this chick was naked and had a piece of glass on top of her - she was a human table. Her legs were apart and her pussy was an ashtray. So naturally I had to honour her by sitting next to her and putting my drink on her glass, and I twice puffed a cigarette to the point where I could ash it in her. I wanted the whole experience. I didn't want to be on my death bed at the end of my life thinking, Damn I wish I would have ashed in that chicks pussy - no regrets, right!

I drink too much...like way too much.  So I started taking naltrexone and it removes my desire to drink.  It's supposed to make alcohol taste gross if you drink it but for me it actually makes me not want to drink, however it only works if you take it.  

I've only drank twice since taking it and I drank much less than I normally would so thats good anyway.  

Wow Millsy! Well done! Sounds like you have taken a really practical step towards managing that which had quite a bit of control over you. I wish you success!!!

I suck at regulating my weight within a healthy range which really pisses me off because I feel like such a strong person in almost every other way. I've always fronted my demons head on, and as a result, throughout my adult life, have been able to peel away every single layer of the onion to where this last fucker had laid smiling sardonically. My journey is a long story, as is everyone else's, and I won't go into it here.

My weight is linked to my deepest layer. I know the emotional cause, the fear, and where it came from. Where I'm struggling, is that my fear is at essence a rational fear and exists for my survival - so I can't just get rid of it. Instead, I think I have to tame it so that it works for me instead of the other way around. Anyway, that's where I'm at. I believe the relevant epiphany will arrive this year and when it does that layer will fall away I will be my essence (once I finish licking my wounds).

In practical terms, I am going away for a week in March to a weight loss camp. It's not a boot camp, although I would love that! I'm not fat and lazy - just fat! LOL! I actually love adventure and challenges. Because hypnosis worked so well for me in the past I chose a camp that includes four in depth hypnosis sessions crammed into the week. The rest of it just involves whole foods (which I eat a lot of anyway) and yoga. I know this reprogramming will work at least for a while but because this issue is such a deep one in me, I actually plan to repeat the process about 3-4mths later which I hope will cement the reprogramming.