So I'd like to present to SIN the 6 Weapons of Persuasion, codified by Robert B. Cialdini. Now, Cialdini was more interested in increasing his sales, but the social psychological theories behind it are sound.
Whether you are like me, always seeking new ways to bend others to your will, or not, knowing these 6 weapons will at least be useful in defending yourself from others who may seek to bend you to their will (salesperson of any sort, me, etc.).
So here they are:
1. Reciprocity
The not-so-free sample: "Free hot dogs and balloons for the little ones!"
Reciprocal concessions: Place a large request first (that you know everyone will say "no" to), followed very quickly by the target request. This only works if it's the same person making both requests, and both requests must come in as rapid a succession as possible. Charities seeking donations from you do this very often. "Would you like to be a Platinum Donor for just $1000?" "NO" "Is there any amount you can donate then?" Most people will find it hard to refuse the smaller request.
Unequal Reciprocity: 25 cents for $2.00. A common tactic used by many cults or religious groups seeking donations. Hare Krishnas are known for this tactic, where they give you a plastic poppy plant in return for donations. Pre-9/11, this commonly occurred in airports. It was common for people to fork out $1.00 for said poppy plant, when that plant only cost less than 1 cent to make.
2. Commitment and Consistency
Low-balling (growing legs on which decision stands): "Just start filling out the paper work, and I'll go get the "green light" from the boss" [later] "Oh, I'm sorry, I can't do it for that price. I can only do <some higher price or the original price>." This is a fascinating technique, where you initially agree to a lower price, have your target do something else (e.g., filling in paperwork), and then come back later to go back on your previous agreement. It works on the premise that your target will begin justifying the decision to buy-in on their own while they're doing said something else (again e.g., filling in paperwork). The distraction actually increases the likelihood of them complying to your will.
This method is so effective that it's actually illegal for car dealerships in some states to use (not that it stops them from doing it). Calling them out on lowballing is a great way to get them to return to the original agreement, especially if you make it clear that you know what lowballing is, and how illegal it is.
Circular breathing: Inhaling and exhaling while talking non-stop. This is a technique commonly employed by telemarketers. It basically gives your target no room to say no at the early stages, and by the time you finish your spiel, they already feel obligated to play along having "wasted" so much of YOUR time. They basically feel bad for not saying "no" earlier.
Foot-in-the-door: A small request (to which everyone would say "yes") followed by the target request. This technique works with up to 2 weeks between requests. The small request does not necessarily have anything to do with the target request. A study asked subjects to go count the number of pots/pans in their kitchen for the small request, and asked subjects to consent to placing large "drive safe" signs on their yards for their target request. People who were asked the small request overwhelmingly agreed to the target request vs. people who were never asked the small request.
3. Social Proof
Conformity: "This is the most popular car in the state! Everyone's buying one!" This one's obvious, but it rides on the fact that human beings look to the actions of others to determine their own decisions. It works even if you're not face-to-face with the target, as seen in the use of laugh-tracks in old comedies. Studies show that people who viewed a comedy with laugh-tracks vs. the people who viewed the same comedy with no laugh-tracks found the comedy significantly funnier.
Bystander "apathy": Also commonly referred to as "dilution of responsibility". Well demonstrated in the Kitty Genovese attack, 1964. While most usually see this effect as a way of promoting inaction, you can also promote action by jumping in to do what others are not doing. e.g., an injured man on the streets of New York may be ignored, and the likelihood of being ignored increases as more people ignore them. Basically, ignoring him breeds more people ignoring him. HOWEVER, as soon as the first person attempts to help, others will immediately rush in to help. So, it works both ways.
4. Liking
"You're my kind of people; I like you!" We tend to like (and comply) with people who (say they) like us, and to those who are similar to us, and/or those who are attractive.
We feel obligated to those WE LIKE because we don't want them to start disliking us (i.e., we dislike relational devaluation).
Flattery gets you everywhere.
5. Authority
Humans tend to have blind obedience to authority. This is well demonstrated in the Stanley Milgram series of electroshock experiments. While few of us will ever be put in a situation where we have to administer electric shocks to someone, we continue to have this obedience, even when we don't realize it.
For example, if you ever attend a conference, the speaker tends to have his fruit salad up on display (PhD, Masters of..., Bachelors..., some prestigious institutes name, etc.). This is an attempt by the speaker to build himself up as a credible authority. You can use this to your advantage as well, simply by stating your years of experience in doing something. Realty companies who have their receptionists say before transferring your call, "Oh, I'll transfer you to Brad, he's got 20 years of experience selling property in that area" experienced a 35% increase in appointments, and a 15% increase in signed contracts. This is an ethical and costless way of increasing your authority, and thus increase the likelihood of bending others to your will.
Studies have also shown that random passer-bys are more likely to hand over coins to a researcher for a parking meter if said researcher was dressed in a uniform. e.g., a pilot's uniform. Clothes make the deal.
6. Scarcity
"This is the last one on the lot!"
"Sale ends tomorrow!"
"Only two cars per customer"
This has more to do with commodities, where an economic principle is applied to psychological valuation. What is scarce is more valuable.
Scarceness also implies social proof.
When not selling cars, you can use this technique by stating something like, "Deal's off as soon as this conversation is over. You need to decide NOW." Timeshare marketers use this a lot.
Defending Yourself
Okay, so you can bend others to your will. How do you prevent yourself from getting bent?
1. THINK! All of the above techniques rely on your mindlessness. If you are constantly using your Central Processing Path (covered another day), all of the above will fall apart.
2. Understand how and why the tactic is working. This is why you should know the above 6 Weapons.
3. Ask yourself: Do I really want to do this? Or am I doing it to please someone else?
4. Wait for a couple of hours. If the desire goes away, you probably didn't want to do it.
5. Point out the compliance tactic to the compliance professional (the person trying to bend you). This is an extremely effective way of letting them know you're a master of the art of bullshit too, and that his techniques won't work.
