I just had a memory of this insane day and I’m going to share it with you guys before I forget.<br />
<br />
So when I was underage, my friend Ben’s mom would buy us cigarettes, alcohol, give us drugs, etc. The first hard drug I ever did was meth that Ben stole out of her purse. But anyways, Me, Ben and Kody decided to bring a whole bunch of beers to this amusement park called Lagoon and get drunk and ride around on rides. Back then, they would let you in with alcohol and you could walk around with beer as long as it was in a koozie. We had a few cases of beer but we could only carry one cooler so when we ran out of the first case, we had to go back out to the car to get more. Well on the way back into the park, one of those two (I don’t remember which one) dropped his end of the cooler and beer spilt out all over at the entrance to the park in front of a bunch of people and security saw us and decided to card us. We were underage so they kicked us out. After we got kicked out, Kody was calling around looking for something to do and he found a house party back in town so we went there. While at the house party, the party got home invaded and a bunch of guys jumped this dude in one of the bedrooms upstairs. Anyways, at this party was a bunch of girls and I started talking to this one girl from Idaho. We hit it off and talked more and more and we started making out. She asks me if I want to go upstairs and I’m like hell yea. We go upstairs and she breaks out some coke. She breaks me off a fat ass line and I do it and I instantly get paranoid and my mood was shattered. Something just wasn’t right and I didn’t want to hook up with her anymore and I went back downstairs. She was a complete bitch to me the rest of the night and turned her friends against me but all I wanted to do was kick it with my friends the rest of the night. Anyways, at the end of the party Kody asks me if I want a ride home. He was drinking all day and was pretty drunk and I was still paranoid and I said no, I’ll just walk home. I walked home and the next day Ben calls me saying that they got pulled over when they were going home and Kody got a dui and other people got charged too. If I would have went with them I probably would have got a charge too. But check this out, that isn’t the crazy part, this is. So remember that girl I almost had sex with? Well my grandma died like 10 year after and my whole dads side of the family was there at her funeral. I never knew them growing up because my mom hates them. Well that one chick I almost had sex with was my cousin! We saw each other there and just looked at each other like WHAT THE FUCK! Crazy how the universe works.
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Dark Enlightenment
Jan 29 '22
Today you should've seen me and Mousy today at school today. I got cocked on a pint of Blackberry brandy, ate some THC on the bus. We were fucked. This teacher Mr. Rivera goes, "What's wrong with you Delaney?" I go, "I'm totally fucked, maaaaan!" Everybody laughed like a bastard. Oh man, you should see this song I'm listenin' to. It's called "Don't Bogart That Joint, My Friend." I think it's by a group called... *passes out*
/\ Only not painful movie those guys ever did.
Dusche
Jan 29 '22
Well, this one time the other day, me and a new friend of mine were walking around the forest by a lake, cuz that's all you can really do out here in rural Oregon right? And when we were walking past the lake, I saw an animal in the water and I was like: "Was that a beaver?!" And my friend was like: "Probably not. There aren't any around here." And I was like: "What? None around here? I thought it was the state animal?" And my friend was like: "Well, the roadrunner is the state animal of Arizona. Have you ever seen one while visiting Arizona?" And I was like: "Hmm... good point." And my friend was like: "And that's not a 'lake,' that's a pond." And I was like: "Well I'm from California, we barely have any water there, so we'd call that a lake." And we both laughs. And then we kept walking.
The Forum post is edited by Dusche Jan 29 '22
Cornelius Coburn
Jan 29 '22
So, one time not too long ago I was in the basement just doing mundane shit, and I heard this dog barking, but it seemed much louder than usual, so I turned in the direction of which these massive sound waves were propagating to see what the commotion was, and lo and behold there was this monstrous fucking Malamute staring me down right through my own window and barking viciously and aggressively - it was just plain nuts.
And then sometime later I got to thinking, this just isn't right. I mean, it's definitely not cool, after all, that is supposed to be a right-of-way, of which my rights to it were actively and maliciously being infringed upon, so I grabbed a big stick made of the heaviest and hardest wood I could conjure, it was Maple, but I don't know which kind, anyway, I took my big stick like Walking Tall and pretended to have to do something on that side like check the fill pipe, and all Hell began to break loose and out come the neighbors. There was quite a stir and we got to arguing, and eventually they retreated from whence they came with these famous last words "It's just an animal" to which I replied "it's an aggressive and dangerous animal!". They then proceeded to call the cops on me.
To make a longer story a bit shorter. I figuratively framed their famous last words, and whenever I would see a dangerous animal on television in the company of others, e.g., maneaters, I would sarcastically say : it's nothing, "it's just an animal".
The Forum post is edited by Cornelius Coburn Jan 29 '22
Dark Enlightenment
Jan 29 '22
There are tons of Beavers in Oregon. Plus, I hear it's mostly lesbians, which checks out. It's like the Shangri la of woodland slit licking. I mean that's everywhere now, but especially there. If I was like that UCSB kid (and super frustrated) I would totally start psychotically targeting said rug munchers and leaving them for dead with a didlo shoved down their thoat. If that was ever a serial killer it should target Oregon. Really, If you want cock starved broads you gotta go to Japan. Though the Movie Lost In Translation seemed like male fantasy bullshit it really is that easy for a Bill Murray fat ass to get laid in Japan. And that's why I hated Groundhog Day. He sells out for a fluffy wholesome life affirming family ending. And for that thing. They should have made him have to do something else to end the day and not learn a lesson on how to treat people through repulsive Jewish bitch that would never deserve to be an object won by anyone. For prude bitch personality alone. In fact if I was him, and stuck in a never-ending day, I'd come up with as many ways as possible to treat that prissy ugly haired cunt like shit. Choosing that bitch to be the love object was a worse move than casting Alanis Morrisette as God in Dogma, which should insult Canadians. Which is a country to the north of America and not one by Belize as is so often thought by average American Geography knowledge. And the common thing there is to know only basic things about places. Which is why your friend thought the state animal of Arizona is The Roadrunner when it is in fact the ringtail which most Zonies could not even identify if requested. There's a lot of lesbians there too. I think pretty much everywhere recently. That's why men are being pussified, so they can be used as eunuch non threatening friends that are a flaccid cock incarnate. Because flaccid cocks aren't threatening and all the Valerie Solanas bitches won pop culture. I feel that happened systematically with all those damn egalitarian ideals and men genuinely sucking at sex by comparison.
The Forum post is edited by Dark Enlightenment Jan 29 '22
Dusche
Jan 29 '22
i liked Groundhogs Day. It was a cute movie. But I agree, it was a stupid, Leftist/Liberal faggot ending. If I was Bill in that Ground hog movie, I would at least try to spend as much time killing as many dumb people as I can, in increasingly sadistic and barbaric ways. Until I got jaded by it all. Then, I'd be nice. Then I would be a big whore on earth, until I got jaded with that too. I'd start by stalking Marky Mark and seeing if he would sleep with me. Then I'd go work on Paris Hilton.
One of my favorite movies is that one movie where the guy and a volley ball are stranded on an island. I wonder if Robinson Cruso and his manservant Friday ever had gay sex? One of them would have gotten horny at some point. This reminds me of this one movie I liked, where a brother and sister got stranded on an island, and the whole rest of the movie is about them falling in love and having sex. What was that movie called? Somebody old would know. That movie had this song in it:
The Forum post is edited by Dusche Jan 29 '22
Dark Enlightenment
Jan 29 '22
I wasn't done editing my feminist bait/trolling of OP's lack of punctuation yet... That's why I just make up my own punctuation.
But Groundhog Day pissed me off. Loved him kidnapping the Groundhog and playing psychic. The suicide montage was good too. I just reject the artsy social commentary premise that you have to stop being primarily self serving to grow as a person. And that selfish antisocial materialism is stagnating. Or that the "spirit" in which you approach it matters, if you know how to sell people what they want to hear.
I want a Robert Greene/Machievellian Groundhog Day! Where instead of reliving the same day until his heart grows three sizes we has to learn how to be the Prince and just take it by laws of power.
Or they could have made it a deterministic paradox like Donnie Darko where he has to die or the bitch has to die at a certain skew point to end the loop. Like in Donnie Darko his failure to be killed by a jet engine from the future caused more harm than good and he had moved outside his destiny which almost destroyed the universe. Plus he saved his mom from being on the plane by getting killed by that jet engine.
The Forum post is edited by Dark Enlightenment Jan 29 '22
Cornelius Coburn
Jan 30 '22
And no, I'm not old enough to remember The Blue Lagoon with Brooke Shields and Christopher Atkins, but I do remember that song very well, and have even put it up myself on occasion, so good on that, however, I do not recall it being in this movie that I do not remember.
Cornelius Coburn
Jan 30 '22
I suppose it was good for its' time; maybe Castaway did feel like a bit of an upgrade, but yeah, Brooke Shields was actually a thing for a time. I remember those Farrah Fawcett posters too. I had one.
Cornelius Coburn
Jan 30 '22
All stuff from the 70s to early 80s. It was a good time, anyway, Farrah Fawcett was a model that was married to the Six Million Dollar man, who was also an astronaut, like me.
It was a good show for a kid, whom I do not recall questioning the use of bionic limbs in the absence of any internal 'bionic structure' to support - maybe they did cover that; can't say that I recall.
Dusche
Jan 30 '22
Six million dollar man? That's 70s dollar value. Add 40 years plus inflation, and today he might be worth several hundred million.
Cornelius Coburn
Jan 31 '22
You know it's a really a shame. I have occasional sci-fi nostalgia that goes back a long ways, maybe even as far as the late 50s since a lot of those shows/movies were re-broadcast in the 70s and 80s, but every time I get excited about revisiting that era, I am always disappointed, ultimately, because I have such high standards in this current day and age which makes that old stuff seem sort of cringeworthy.
Anyway, in the context of "worth". There was this one episode in The Six Million Dollar Man where they made this other bionic guy who was worth SEVEN MILLION, and I was really excited to find out exactly how much better that extra one million was gonna make the new guy.
I think his name was Barney, and he was introduced as a lineman, like this guy :
But with context aside, I really do like this one better :
Cornelius Coburn
Jan 31 '22
Imagine an existence devoid of everything. We are starting at zero here, and something is happening. What is happening?
vinnygouche
Jan 1 '23
There are tons of Beavers in Oregon. Plus, I hear it's mostly lesbians, which checks out. It's like the Shangri la of woodland slit licking. I mean that's everywhere now, but especially there. If I was like that UCSB kid (and super frustrated) I would totally start psychotically targeting said rug munchers and leaving them for dead with a didlo shoved down their thoat. If that was ever a serial killer it should target Oregon. Really, If you want cock starved broads you gotta go to Japan. Though the Movie Lost In Translation seemed like male fantasy bullshit it really is that easy for a Bill Murray fat ass to get laid in Japan. And that's why I hated Groundhog Day. He sells out for a fluffy wholesome life affirming family ending. And for that thing. They should have made him have to do something else to end the day and not learn a lesson on how to treat people through repulsive Jewish bitch that would never deserve to be an object won by anyone. For prude bitch personality alone. In fact if I was him, and stuck in a never-ending day, I'd come up with as many ways as possible to treat that prissy ugly haired cunt like shit. Choosing that bitch to be the love object was a worse move than casting Alanis Morrisette as God in Dogma, which should insult Canadians. Which is a country to the north of America and not one by Belize as is so often thought by average American Geography knowledge. And the common thing there is to know only basic things about places. Which is why your friend thought the state animal of Arizona is The Roadrunner when it is in fact the ringtail which most Zonies could not even identify if requested. There's a lot of lesbians there too. I think pretty much everywhere recently. That's why men are being pussified, so they can be used as eunuch non threatening friends that are a flaccid cock incarnate. Because flaccid cocks aren't threatening and all the Valerie Solanas bitches won pop culture. I feel that happened systematically with all those damn egalitarian ideals and men genuinely sucking at sex by comparison.
how the actual fuck can you hate Andie MacDowell? she's one of the hottest women on the planet and mankind would benefit immensely if more women like her walked the earth.
