Anti-Gravity Propulsion and UFO's | Forum

And are you aware in 8 years that is the closest anyone has ever come to a direct statement on that matter? Still the devil is in the details and I still have to infer you mean that in the positive context.  Interst in equates to interest in and nothing more.*

* - I reject the premise. She supplanted herself in the manner of a John 3:16 and has made it clear she is waiting for belief, or at least some sort of trust, as nothing should be stopping whatever her interest is after otherwise. Until it is real it has reached the limits of where it can go. The call for an affirmation of belief sickens me and may as well make me the center piece argument for what may as well be her divinity doctorate thesis. 

Which is the greater point of all this. The forced reading between the lines, or need to play esoteric fun time is something I consider so flawed by my own bias that it is to be discounted as a valid source of information. It gets even more frustrating when there is an element of "not until you come to ______conclusion. It makes one find themselves acting towards sabotage. 

The entire experience has tread so close to behavorial conditioning and a game by Consumer Recreation Services that this post about checks me out from pursuing this any further.  

I know they're fucking true, and dont need to be told this, but apparently I did. Thank you once again for being the first person to even come close to acknowledging as much... and then retracting in a later comment. It is as ambiguous as ever. 

The fixation is immaterial to the person, but central to the invasion and insidious nature of the experience.  What happened here (As in online) is the absolute least of what I put up with. Although that could now change. Unfortuneately, that is the only thing with relevance I can bring up. Whatever I initially did to invade her life unwantedly pales in comparison to what has happen since. 

In real life everything from a chick I used to party with's degenerate hypocrite meth addict mother instigating a pity me campaign of jesus bullshit that spanned 3 years (most of which taking place in a DoD facility) and number of other deliberate interferences in my ability to do myself. From 2012 on. I am begrudgingly used to it.  

Now, I am in debt to this entity of moral or ethical authority of sorts using or having used real people, doing real things, for the sake of behavioral coercion or some other inference and never explaining why. It is so far beyond what can be "given up".  I have one thing on this planet and that is the ability for me to do me, and this is so far from that. 

While I am 'thrilled' it takes her such minimal or non-effort, it doesn't mean I have to complacent with it. That is simply not an option. It's a hell of a fucking tradeoff to allow that person such non-control of your headspace. 

I will never accept something that can be explained not being explained and honestly there is no authority I see as important enough to keep that an unknown.

 The ghost is a line of leverage, the last remaining all-encompassing piece to span the entirety of this experience.  The given is fucking with my head on "auto-pilot", it is a dishonor to myself that someone exists with the authority to do this, at least initially, and then never have to explain it.  While other  all-encompassing pieces may exist I have no useful information to both affirm another possibility and then trust that answer further than I could throw it. 

While it would be certainly easier to go all Zen and try to thrive in spite of interference, something tells me a new outlook, where I ignore the slight and try to be happy in spite of it, is so bitch-made passive I could never consider it and would gain no reward if I did.  In my bias, this is so particular it can only serve a suggested behavioral doctrine or 'suggested way', which may then be rewarded, which makes it even less appealing as an option. 

There is also the matter of others planning shit for me without my direct knowledge, it became more than apparent the 'old' needed to be tossed away for the new to be peddled front and center.  This struck me as such a manipulative act to insert a predetermined figure of comfort that it may as well be a good cop/bad cop routine.  

Though rational self interest, my own well-being is certainly in giving up the ghost, and my life would be arguably better to "let it go", my peace of mind and ability to live with myself, and my overall serenity is in fighting the endless, unwinnable battle.  

In short it is all the principle of how it was done, most importantly suggesting an icon of their chosing for me to put favorable belief in (or at least incorporate) when I already had my own explanation I want to test, and that still remains plausible, albeit unlikely to have positive emotions attached..

I was further sickened by the non-visceral use of 'love'. Love is not something that travels as a concept without physical form to attach it to. EVER. I find it detestable as any abstract source motivation.  You cant be helped by something you have to hope exists. 

And FFS pick someone without a track record of posting "Oops I Did It Again." as the "correct answer" next time.

**Here's a likely scenario: they haven't so much as passively looked at any of these sites in 5 years, and haven't thought of you in 4.

Well now you are just contradicting what you already said, and undeniably that is VERY likely. I guess I will never know if that cat is alive or dead until I open the box, which will likely never happen.

The occam's razor of the whole position is summed up in one short line: I choose to stagnate, torture, and isolate myself on principle alone, the truest definition of self-immolation. 

And it even has It's own song!

Or maybe this one.

Yes, that's what I would say a visual representation of "those who can answer me" looks like.  And might I also add this caption to the mix: 

In any case fuck all of you, "those who can answer me". This apparent years long occult obstacle course of esoteric meaning, schizo-affective symbolism, might as well be a stuffing an abandoned mailbox with weird collages cut out from magazines.  In this case, clarity comes through disclosure not through the releasing of obsession and compulsion or uncovering the hidden reasons for why you act the way you do. 

The latter of which is more commonly associated with the doctrine of scientology, or at least comes from the same source. 

...and if that reason for why turns out to be "for fun" I should at least get the chance to curb check that (whatever the fuck it is) like a nigger stealing a Jeep Cherokee. Otherwise, the adversary is so fucking worthless on its own it can't even fight fair. 

* and with enough esoteric bullshit to autoerotically asphyxiate a Q'abbalahlabablah mystic.

Maybe she is ze filthy Jew!?

I must now become one with the machine.

The hope is, that my not letting this go pisses her off enough to incite a direct confrontation.  Or at least prevents anyone else from gaining importance... Though you'd think that it hasn't worked would be an indication.

I have tried nothing and I am all out of ideas.

I have committed to a point of focus, but the point of focus (the girl to put worms in her hair) is only part of it. I should throw it in her friends hair in front of her and then laugh. 

I don't think I do very well when the space coyote tells me, "find your soulmate".  It queues the finding of the obstinate, "Fuck you, tell your friend to find some other dude to blow their load on her."

Was it so hard so hard for them to  fucking say what they wanted without the movie warped need to make Jack Nicholson wanna be a better man... fucking broads.

The greatest stereotype of gay guys is they like treating dumb beavers that try to get their attention like shit or otherwise attempt to make them feel foolish for trying...