Today, I was at the hospital with my aunt. Her elderly father is seriously ill and the doctors say he's dying. I went there not only because of the sense of duty but I didn't want her to be alone. Apart from being an aunt, she's my friend. She was nervous and crying. But while I was there trying to console her, my inner attitude was "meh." I wasn't moved, I didn't even feel much emotion when my own mother died. I have friends and acquaintances who went nearly hysterical when they lost their beloved ones. I wonder whether those emotions depend on personality or experience and, perhaps, my work in the nursing home made me a little bit emotionally detached.
Anyway, what's your attitude to suffering and dying? I know it's natural but how do you react? Have you ever been surprised by your own emotional response?
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Suffering, illness, death | Forum
Dark Enlightenment
Apr 19 '18
Anyway, what's your attitude to suffering and dying? I know it's natural but how do you react? Have you ever been surprised by your own emotional response?
I found myself feeling like i should have more response than I did. I once subconciously used my mom's heart attack to justify taking my car on a road trip. I felt like I needed to react. I spent much time trying to convince myself I would care if she died. I even said, "Youre not allowed to die" entirely fraudalently...
It comes from a weird place. My sister often says she was a woman that should've never had children. I always assumed autism, but she is right about that.
As far as the question goes, I will find out how I truly react when my Dad dies, because thats the first death I forsee getting me.
The Forum post is edited by Dark Enlightenment Apr 19 '18
Anna
Apr 21 '18
@DE
I don't see it in terms of should/shouldn't. My weak emotional reaction or the lack of it isn't a sign of indifference or lack of care. In my opinion, actions speak louder than words and definitely louder than feelings, which by their nature are ephemeral and often irrational. In my case, too many emotions would cripple me and make me not only unsuitable for my job but also poison my daily life. The dead should be allowed to go away in peace. Besides, who would wish to be dying surrounded by hysterical family members?
The Forum post is edited by Anna Apr 21 '18
TL49877
Apr 22 '18
I find myself that i don't have as much emotion twoards death.. but if it is someone close then I have more emotion/sympothy.. it's honestly how I work.
