BDSM | Forum

You say I am doing x and y, yet you are unable to respond to specific points and questions that show I am doing neither of these things (is this where you retort, "oh, I have, you just don't like what I've had to say" and completely avoid the invitation to show me where I'm wrong?); and that, in fact, you are misreading the posted articles or being intentionally obtuse. The segments in bold, in my previous reply to you, highlight this most unerringly.

Quote from Dimitri No, you did not claim to be SSC at any moment.

So why put me in the SSC camp? The one that, by my own admission and by the authors whose works I posted, claims expertise and is vocal about telling people how they should and should not kink (i.e., "dictate what it should be," to directly quote you)? You say this logic can be applied to me... how? Feel free to point out where I advocate, for others, RACK over SSC. Like most other things I've called you out on, you are unable to.

I am wondering if you have nothing more to say about your previously wrong statement that SSC and RACK have the same message? Maybe something like, "I was wrong?" Or are we going to just keep ignoring the statements that show you really have no clue what you're talking about, and that you're arguing from an academic standpoint based on what you've found via Google?

Quote from Dimitri Points have been answered. The fact they fly over your head is not a problem of mine little one.

Curious... why are you so quick to copy/paste articles and other parts of text, yet are reluctant to show me my "inane comments" (that one is from a few posts back) and where I rant against my own sources? Is it because, possibly, you've no ground to stand on? Curiouser and curiouser.

I'll make this very easy for you to follow with large gaps between statements:

SSC peeps are (generally) the "instant expert" preachy folk, as mentioned by me and the articles I posted, and as evidenced by Khandiwhatever and his "me real dom, me use safewords! you not real BDSM person!" silliness.

You said I was an instant expert type and tell people how to do twue kink: "SSC became suspicious to individuals, like yourself, who claim "instant-expertise" and dictate (subjectively and ill-informed) what it should be."

Then I was all: whoa, for realsies? I don't identify as SSC, nor have I ever claimed expertise, nor tried to dictate what kink should be.

Then you were like: "No, you did not claim to be SSC at any moment. But I believe it was the "instant expert"-part which I related to your person"

So then I was like: "You say this logic can be applied to me... how? Feel free to point out where I advocate, for others, RACK over SSC."

And finally, you're all: re-read stuff, it all flew over your head, (insert condescending terms of endearment here).

Are we done yet? Have I won the internets? Do I get a prize? You can make inane comments now if it'll help with the being wrong and incredibly dense thing. S'okay. Here, an offering: :)

Quote from Dimitri Do me a favour and re-read your own response after sobering up from you're attempted macho-talk. I bet you'll be hitting your head against the wall when "enlightenment" starts hitting you.

I sure hope so. I am 110% okay with freely admitting when I've flubbed, misread, misunderstood, or had some kind of logic aneurysm. It happens. Sometimes it happens a lot. I have a harder time believing you are sincerely not able to "get it" than I am with admitting I misread or misunderstood something. I am going to take your advice, and if enlightenment doesn't hit, just assume I've been punked.

For me, I would have to say drinking someones blood (fully tested blood and knowing their history. Still human after all. All safety precautions apply.) is pleasing for me. I am as much a sadist as I am a masochist. 

Well after reading these comments, my kinks and sex life seem almost prudish by comparison. 

Quote from Dimitri Do me a favour and re-read your own response after sobering up from you're attempted macho-talk. I bet you'll be hitting your head against the wall when "enlightenment" starts hitting you. 

Still nothing, though re-reading some of this, it becomes even more obvious to me how completely clueless you actually are. I almost feel guilty for provoking you. It's about as satisfying as hitting a retarded child with a rolled up newspaper.

Quote from Dimitri Here it becomes obvious you are way too focused on "bashing" the SSC-side. The statement that "RACK"-labellers also have their fair share of instant experts flew straight above your head.

OH! I do get it now! It was so not based in reality that the concept couldn't even take hold in my brains. On that note: I completely and utterly reject your premise that people who claim RACK over SSC are instant-experts that dictate how kink should kink to anyone other than they themselves. There are some exceptions - there are in every group, like Christians who go to church but don't pray - but it's almost always the exact opposite.

In my not-expert but experienced-based opinion: it's the BDSM newbies (Khandiwhatever), the Grey-converts, the internet losers, and people who like to use feather cuffs and spank their SO once or twice a month that adamantly and proudly proclaim "SSC FOREVERZ!" and are vocal about doing kink this way instead of that way because their way is the right way for everybody; it's "play by my rules, or don't play at all!" They do this because they don't know any better--either from lack of experience in the scene, lack of ability to introspect and think critically, or lack of desire to push themselves outside comfortable boundaries (simply "being kinky" is enough of an illusion in that respect).

Other than to mock them - much like I mock overly religious folk who also don't make a habit of firing more than a few neurons at a time - I could not care less how they kink, nor do I tell them what to do (or not do) unless I've been placed in that role (e.g., event or workshop lecturer, mentor, educator, protector, advocate, etc.).

You can certainly find exceptions if you look, no doubt; but, speaking from my imaginary experiences, rabid SSC folk are the ones for whom "instant expert" and "dictates what should or should not be done" apply--not those of the RACK persuasion. To argue this would be like arguing against the idea that atheists don't pray. I'm sure some do, but generally... um, no. I feel kind of silly just pointing this out, but I guess if you only know SSC and RACK from wikipedia, you might benefit from the analogy.

Your claim that I am proof of this - i.e., RACK people being preachy instant-experts - is bunk. Have I ever preached RACK over SSC for other people? Nope. Have I ever claimed instant expertise in "BDSM?" Nope again! I would say I'm exceptionally proficient in certain respects with some ...things... but that's the result of years of experience with said things.

Beyond that, you know nothing of my character or how I handle situations where people (newbies usually) are doing something stupid - so why act like you do? On what do you base the argument I am ill-informed? I mean, you could always ask, and I could always tell you about the time I stopped a moron from potentially fucking up his partner's pacemaker, but I very much doubt you are interested in anything other than "being right." Even though it makes you look like a tool.

Quote from Dimitri Instead, for some strange reason, you think I associated you with the thing you renounce.

Possibly because you did?

I do see now (enlightenment!) where you are going with this, but unfortunately for you it's completely unfounded. It's far more likely you misread the articles, and since you are only speaking from what little you've been able to gather via google, you didn't realize it until I pointed it out. What is so hard about admitting, on the internets, that you misread or misunderstood something? Are you that concerned people will point and say, "oh, look Dimi MISREAD something! Haha!" FWIW, it's far more idiotic to do as you've done.

Also, look up the definition of "terms of endearment." When used in a condescending way - as you did - it's unmistakably passive aggressive. My statements are not passive in their aggression. :P This is either you being intentionally obtuse in order to make dumb arguments and appear like an internet debating champion, or another English-language misunderstanding.

Quote from Dimitri I believe the issue revolved around the statement that RACK and SSC carried the same message. If posed as a question, it was answered with a resounding "yes".

See "intentionally obtuse" above.

I give up, Dimi the Indomitable. This is all I've got, and at this point we're just going around in circles. I'll leave you a gold star for your prowess (so fierce!) and scamper away with my tail between my legs.

Quote from Vampira why should making a person feel pain be acceptable?

Only if the recipient wants it, of course, and the giver also receives joy from it. Pleasure, like beauty, is in the eye of the beholder...

Well, for the first time 2 weeks ago, I tied all 4 of my wife's limbs to our bed and had my way with her. I'm only a kinkster if my spouse says she wants me to be one. She did, so I went on FetLife and read up on the basics.

Otherwise, I don't really have any interest.

EDIT: Fuck SSC. I only care about C. If you want to be SS, never leave your room, and never indulge in BDSM, because you would violate Safe by leaving your room (you could get in a car crash in the way to the dungeon!) and violate Sane just by being in BDSM. For many, BDSM is not Sane.

I care only about Consent, and the rest can be dealt with by being thorough with pre and post play discussion. i.e., make damn clear what's going to happen, and make sure your partner consents to whatever it is. The "Safe & Sane" ship had already sailed the moment you left your room.

Johnny, you may be better suited then to RACK - Risk Aware Consensual Kink. 

The point of SSC isn't "complete absolute safety" as you seem to suggest, rather that in all cases, appropriate safety practices should be followed (ie, having a first aid kit on hand, knowing where and where not to strike in impact play, using the appropriate type of candle in wax play, etc etc etc) and that you shouldn't do things that are just plain stupid. 

SSC and RACK both serve the same function: a reminder to do your research, make sure you know what you're getting yourself into, make intelligent, informed decisions with regard to risks and their mitigation, to not be a dumb ass, and to always have consent. It's a watchword, not a guide - a reminder, not a code. The spirit is more important than the letter.

I was into BDSM long afore being a Satanist, so as far as I'm concerned, it just another extension of Satanism, as it represents a different pleasure of the flesh.

I'm a little sadistic perv, I love needle play and pain. I wouldn't list everything I'm into but my only red line is children and human waste. Everything else im open to trying if i haven't already.

I've been in/out of the lifestyle for years, and I certainly do not feel as a freak and weirdo. I'm a person with different tastes, and choices. BDSM is simply another sexual lifestyles.

when it comes to men, I'm a dom...a top

when it comes to women, I'm more of a sub.  They can walk all over me and I'll still grin (for the most part).

*sigh* 

I like celibacy and asexualism too tho.  Are there any asexuals out there?

Having hosted BDSM affairs, I find nothing weird or starnge about the lifestyle. everyone i've met, played with is an everyday person. And in all manner of education, and professions. From the dustman to the college professor.

I'm submissive. Except when I'm not. 

I will say that I found some of the practices of BDSM to be therapeutic, in that they helped me venture into emotional areas that I wasn't comfortable with in real life. 

Like crying... In real life I never cried, but occasionally when I was flogged, etc, I would absolutely blubber and it felt really good. There would be tears and snot and my bottom lip would quiver and I sounded just like a little kid when they blubber and then hold their breath and then blubber again. 

And in real life I was always very proud and strong and independent in terrible situations, but sometimes during play I would ask for sympathy. It was hilarious - they would cane me around the arse with one arm while patting me on the head with the other hand and saying, "Aw poor girl." Lol! But t worked!

I haven't played in quite some time. I'm jaded and am finding it hard to submit. I could top, but that annoys me a bit too. Men annoy me. Lol. I mean I love men of course... You are beautiful creatures! 

It's not you - it's me...